Can we just be real for a minute?
Do you know how it feels to be stuck in a place and just not know what you’re suppose to be doing? Not even having a tiny speck of a glimpse as to what your future holds? Maybe much like me, you know that certain things in the now, will eventually carry over in to the future. Like my girlfriend will eventually be my wife. But trying to find the place where my head, my heart, and my hopes meet can be seriously demoralizing.
If you’re reading this looking for a solution (besides just putting your situation in God’s hands) you’ve come to the wrong place. I’m not writing this to give you a solution, but honestly just to give you hope.
These next several months hold so much weight on my shoulders. I am going to have a lot of decisions to make coming up and the prospect of what is to come frightens me. I’m at a point in my walk with God, where my goal is to be so caught up in his will, that making life decisions will come so easily to me. Now let me clarify, I don’t have choices to make yet, I just know what will be coming in the near future.
My Heart wants: To be flooded with ministry opportunities however that looks. To be able to travel and tell the world about Jesus through what ever means possible. To share my poetry with people who get it, and need to hear that there is hope. Or to be rooted in a community that needs love that I can provide.
My Head wants: A stable job to take care of and provide for my future family. A job that doesn’t make me work 50+ hours a week just to barely make ends meet. To be emotionally secure. To have everything figured out, so that when I daydream it’s only about fun things, and not serious adult things.
My Hopes are: To be so wrapped up in God’s goodness and love, that a combination of what My Head wants and what My Hearts wants will find its way in to my life. To be able to rest in the promise of his love. To just be able to rest, knowing God has everything under control. To not have so many heavy things running through my mind all the time.
I have no idea what the future holds, but over the past few weeks I’ve been learning to just wait on him. To spend time in the Word, to spend time in prayer, and to be able to wait on what’s to come.
A little piece of advice: Worrying about what’s to come never helps you do anything. It just makes the waiting process all the more stressful.
I love you. We’re in this together!