I’ve been killing time for the past several months. I don’t feel comfortable with where I am right now. My poetry seems to be going nowhere, my closest friend lives in another country, and I just feel so utterly content with this way of living. I guess I’m just comfortable but I’m not happy with it.
I’ve started going to the gym again, and I’ve lost 15lbs in just under 3 weeks. Being there is almost euphoric, I get to not be in my comfort zone, and it’s addicting. I get to forget about no one booking me to perform poetry. I get to forget about my loneliness. It’s almost spiritual. I’m nowhere close to where I want to be physically, which is good, because it means I will enjoy the process for a while.
So while killing time is killing me, finding something productive to occupy my time in the meantime is the best thing that has happened to me in awhile.