I’ve lived on regrets for a long time. Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda and all of that good stuff. I think a lot about missed opportunities, the fact that I could be working for a company, probably married by now, flying all over the country and getting paid way better than what I get now. It’s the human nature in me to wonder “What if?” As I see engagement pictures and birth announcements of girls I’ve liked. As I see people doing the job that I could have had, I always tend to stop and get really mad at myself. It’s easier to beat myself up, than to find the positives in where I am now.
I wonder if God ever has “What if?” moments. I wonder if he ever sits and thinks about what it would be like if he didn’t send His Son to die for me. How much things would be different, how much pain he wouldn’t have gone through, seeing his son die for Humanity. I wonder if he ever thinks that he is too good for us. He already knows that we aren’t deserving. Honestly my human mind can’t grasp God’s grace. I know he probably never wonders “What if?” but if that were me up there, I would in a heartbeat.
I know I’m not the person I could be, but I know I’m where he has me. That he will provide, and that the path I’m on right now is way better for me than the path I could have chosen for myself. God has provided beyond my wildest dreams and I am so thankful. Learning to give up regret, not letting it affect your future is hard, but necessary. Whenever regrets creep up on you, being thankful for what God has provided for you in the present will help get rid of the doubts of what you could have done in the past.