White Blank Page

Over the past 5 years, there has been one reoccurring conversation I’ve had with several guy friends. It seems like I’m not the only one that feels this way, so it makes me feel better. The conversations are about the fact that there’s a very good chance that I won’t marry a girl who is a virgin. Someone who is saving herself for me. Now some of you guys read that and are like “Man, it’s not that big of a deal.” But to me it is, considering the fact that I have gone out of my way to save myself for her going on 28 years, and knowing that she may not be doing the same for me right now. It’s heartbreaking.

Now I’m not innocent or anything, I have had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity, and being honest, I haven’t always kept myself out of those situations. But nonetheless, I’m doing it for me and for her, whoever she is.

The world as we know it, has changed so much even in the last 10 years. When I was 18, sure there were young girls getting pregnant, and girls my age talking about sex with their boyfriends. But not nearly to the extent you see it today. And I’m not trying to call you out, if you got pregnant at a young age, or if you had sex before marriage. We are all given free will. But I’m willing to bet that if you did get pregnant in your high school years, you probably didn’t do it on purpose. The baby God has given you is anything but a mistake, and I’m sure is special in your eyes, but he or she is the consequence of not staying pure til marriage. You’ve probably had to do a lot more than you expected, or would have had to do if you have waited until a little bit later in life.

But lets be real, nobody wants any little Stephens running around before they have to be.

But all of this reminds me of an incredible song by a band called Mumford and Sons. The song is called “White Blank Page”, you should totally check it out. But it has some really heart wrenching lyrics:

“Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, as well as your body? And can you lie next to her and confess your love, as well as your folly? And can you kneel before the king And say I’m clean?”

We will one day have to pour our hearts out before God, confessing everything we have ever done, even though he already knows. I guess I’m just trying to scale back on the confessions I have to make, while hopefully making my future wife happy when she finds out that I’ve waited for her. If she hasn’t waited for me, I will absolutely have no hard feelings, or ever be upset that she didn’t. We all have different walks of life, and we all go through different things. The only thing that will be important, is that she will be there with me.

I can’t wait!

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